


Red in the Parlor with the Chandelier

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Blood, Champagne, Cheating, Cocaine, Dialogue Heavy, Drug Addiction, F/F, F/M, Gen, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Multi, Murder Mystery, Party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 07:21:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11527332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: Alexander and Eliza return home from their trip to the Bahamas. There's a party, a murder, and affairs stacked up one on top of the other until there are too many to count. Can Lafayette figure this out with the few hints they're given?---aka 4k words of a murder mystery that nobody Needed or Wanted





	Red in the Parlor with the Chandelier

The party was small but delightful, champagne and laughter shared around the room in abundance, warm lighting and the familiarity of friends warming Lafayette to their very core. It seemed so long since they've all been together like this, and there's no telling how much they've missed it.  
  
Their group, however, was not yet complete. Everyone was waiting for Alexander and Eliza, just getting back from their trip to the Bahamas, to arrive, perhaps with the announcement of an engagement.  
  
At first, Lafayette didn't think they were going to work. Their relationship was just short of arranged by Elizabeth's father, who wanted her to marry someone with a promising future, one that would ensure both her legacy and happiness. It wasn't perfect, but they were friends, and so Eliza agreed and Alexander conceded. It was fine for awhile, it seemed to be okay.

It was cute until Alexander got tired of being tied to only Eliza, and his eyes started wandering to other options. The amount of times Alexander landed on his knees or a mattress for someone that wasn't Eliza, Lafayette lost count, couldn't even remember how many times they had Alex pinned beneath them knowing full well what they were doing. It wasn't right, but they never mentioned it, none of them did. Lafayette always felt guilty, but never enough to come forward and tell Eliza the truth.  
  
The heavy front door swung open, revealing Eliza and Alexander in all of their suntanned glory. Angelica screamed, rose colored dress swishing as she rushed down the grand staircase in the parlor, jewelry gleaming in the light of the grand chandelier. She tackled her sister in a hug tight enough to suffocate her. Peggy and Maria followed, surrounding Eliza, almost knocking Alexander over as they pushed him out of the way.  
  
The four of them talked over each other excitedly, beaming grins on their faces, hand gripped in one another's like decades had gone by instead of just days.  
  
"We're so happy your back!" Angelica exclaimed, hugging Eliza again for good measure.  
  
Eliza laughed. "I'm happy to be back!"  
  
John, Lafayette, and Hercules stormed in to greet Alex, who laughed as John swept him into his arms. Lafayette glanced over to Hercules, knowing look in both of their eyes as Alex giggled and John twirled him around. Out of everyone in the room, there was no doubt that Alex loved John the most, the only one was allowed to call himself Alex's boyfriend without Alex arguing about it.  
  
"You look wonderful," John whispered as he set Alexander down on the ground. Hercules cleared his throat.  
  
"So do you," Alex answered, glint in his eyes, arms still wrapped around John's neck. Lafayette kicked John in the shin and they separated, blush high on their cheeks.  
  
Burr waltzed in the room, stoic as always, shoes snapping against the ground as he stepped across the polished marble floor.  
  
"Hello, Alexander. Welcome back," he nodded. Alex paused from his giddy laughter to nod back, stiff but appreciative. It was far too formal for the stories Alex told about what Burr was like behind closed doors, but Lafayette didn't comment.  
  
They all continued as a group into the living room, chatting about Alexander and Eliza's trip and listening to everything they did while they were there. Flutes of champagne found their way into their hands and Lafayette found themself laughing harder than they ever had. It felt wonderful, to be back in the company of so many people they loved.  
  
"Alex," Hercules whispered, "did you pop the question yet?"  
  
Alex shh'd him. He leaned over Lafayette in between them, John leaning with him so he could hear, and explained, "No! I tried to when we were there, but I never had the chance. It seemed like we were always doing something."  
  
"I bet you were," John joked, wiggling his eyebrows. Alex elbowed him in the stomach but still laughed.  
  
"Shut up."  
  
The night passed on without interruption, people filtering in and out of the room, drunken attempts at dancing the ended up with Hercules and Peggy sprawled out on the floor like starfish, giggling at nothing. Alex was lying across the couch, head in Lafayette's lap, feet in John's talking about how beautiful the beach is and how much he loved being there.  
  
"I know, Alex, I know," Lafayette whispered, combing through his hair with their hands.  
  
"The water is so clear? It's like a pool in nature? I don't understand."  
  
Angelica came in the room. At the sight of Alexander, she raised her eyebrows, warning them. Lafayette untangled their fingers from Alex's hair and he sat up, flushed from the champagne.  
  
"Hello, Angelica."  
  
"Alex," she stared at him, "have you seen Eliza?"  
  
"No, she left with Maria a while ago, why?"  
  
"I can't find her anywhere," she told him.  
  
"Oh, well, I can help you look, if you want."  
  
Angelica rolled her eyes. "It would be appreciated."  
  
Alex stood and dashed up the stairs, Angelica close behind him as they sprinted up the stairs. Silence fell across the living room, the party dying out as the night went on. Hercules groaned and sat up, flopping down on the couch in between John and Lafayette.  
  
"I'm going to get another drink," John excused, standing up and going into the kitchen. Hercules hummed and watched as he left, head lolling to turn and face Lafayette.  
  
"Can we go home?" Hercules asked, leaning on their shoulder.  
  
Lafayette rested their head on top of his. "Half an hour. I don't leave parties early, you know that."  
  
"Yeah, I know that."  
  
Burr sat up. "I'm going to leave the room." He offered no other explanation, not that they ever expected one from Burr, and watched as he exited the same way John had.  
  
Peggy took the chair Burr was sitting in, collapsing on the soft cushion with a sigh.  
  
"It was fun while it lasted," she commented and Hercules nodded.  
  
"You were a lovely dance partner."  
  
She laughed. "And you were delightful."  
  
"Can you please keep your straight flirting at least ten feet away from me?" Lafayette groaned.  
  
"We are not flirting," Hercules argued. "I could never date Peggy, she's like my little sister."  
  
Peggy nodded. "Hercules isn't my type, anyway."  
  
"What is your type?"  
  
"Women," she replied, kicking off her heels.  
  
Lafayette hummed. "Fair enough."  
  
"Sorry to disappoint," she made finger guns at them and Hercules fell into Lafayette's lap. Why they were still friends with him, they didn't know.  
  
"No need to apologize, Peggy, I get you," Lafayette made some snappy finger guns back.  
  
"Girls are jus-" she was interrupted by the crash of the chandelier as it smashed to the ground, crystal ornaments shattering on the marble. Doors on the second floor opened and somebody screamed, everyone upstairs running down. Lafayette didn't understand until they saw why.  
  
Alexander laid impaled on one of the branches of the chandelier, electric light bulb busted and covered in his blood. Another branch went through the back of his throat, his blood pouring out over the floor. His hands laid uselessly at his sides, gripping loosely at the chandelier, like he was trying to stop the impact.  
  
"Oh my god," Hercules whispered. Peggy gagged and had to leave the room.  
  
"What the fuck happened?" Lafayette yelled to the five people standing around his body, none of them providing an answer, not even as the blood pooled around their shoes.  
  
They all stared at each other, silent except for the sound of of more crystals falling on the floor and John's dry heaving. Angelica panted, skin shining with sweat as she fixated on Alex's body. Part of his spine poked through his back, and John ran up the stairs into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Eliza stood there, tears in her eyes, frozen in time like a statue.  
  
"What're, what're," Maria stammered. "What're we going to do?"  
  
"I want to know who killed him," Lafayette snapped, and she flinched. "Sorry."  
  
She sighed. "You're fine. I'm just shaken up a little bit. It's not everyday someone you know gets thrown through a chandelier."  
  
"Yeah," the agreed dumbly, couldn't find anything else to say. "For real, though, which one of you did it?"  
  
John stumbled out of the bathroom then, leaning bodily on the railing and he slid down the stairs, crimson tie thrown over his shoulder.  
  
"Can we go in the living room?" He requested, clutching onto the nearest person so he didn't fall down the stairs, which happened to be Burr.  
  
Peggy was sitting in the room with a bag of ice on her forehead and glass of water in her shaking hands. Her hair was thrown in a bun. She grinned at everyone when they walked in, but her face was pale and clammy.  
  
Lafayette made everyone who stood on the stairs when Alex was thrown over the balcony sit on the couch, squeezing the five of them together one something that really only seated three, but they didn't care. One of their best friends was murdered, either by his girlfriend, his boyfriend, or one of his friends.  
  
"This is stupid," Angelica muttered, leg bouncing. "Why would one of us do it? Alex was our _friend_ , just like he was yours."  
  
"Well, he surly didn't just throw _himself_ over the banister."  
  
"I know I didn't do it," she mumbled, head lolling to the side.  
  
Eliza studied her sister, hands reaching to grab her wrist. "Your heart is beating like crazy, are you okay? You're sweating a ton, it's freezing in here."  
  
John shrugged. "Maybe she's sweating because she feels guilty for killing Alex."  
  
"Fuck off, John," she hissed.  
  
They all started yelling, arguing and gesturing at one another, except for Burr, who was apparently too sophisticated for such childish arguments. He leaned his head on his hand, elbow resting on the arm of the sofa.  
  
Burr sighed. "Can we please just figure this out so I can go home?"  
  
"You were standing over Alex's body too, you're just as much of a suspect as the rest of us," Angelica yelled and Burr rolled his eyes.  
  
"Then can we call the police and they can decide who did and who didn't do it?"  
  
"No," Lafayette answered. "I'm not waiting around to figure out who killed my best friend when I could easily figure out the answers myself."  
  
None of them said anything for a moment before Maria told them, "That's the stupidest thing I've ever fucking heard of."  
  
"That's fine, I don't care, I want to figure this out first, though. Where were you when you heard the chandelier crash?" They asked Eliza, who sighed.  
  
"I was in my room with Maria, telling her about my trip. I couldn't hear her over you guys down here, so we went somewhere quiet," she muttered.  
  
"Okay, so you were with Maria. Angelica, where were you?"  
  
"Bathroom," she groaned, head falling back against the wall.  
  
"Doing what?"  
  
Her eyes narrowed. "What the fuck do you do in the bathroom?"  
  
"Well, I mean-"  
  
"Lafayette," Hercules warned.  
  
"Right, John, where were you?" They pulled one of the chairs over to sit in front of the couch, still nauseous at the thought of Alex, his body still lying in the parlor.  
  
John glared at them, arms crossed over his chest. "I was in one of the bedrooms. When Alex left to go find Eliza, I thought I could _distract_ him." His tone left no room for misunderstanding, not to Lafayette, not even to Eliza.  
  
"Wait, are you saying you were sleeping with Alex?" She questioned, leaning to forward to look at John.  
  
"Me and everybody else in the room, Eliza."  
  
"Not me," Maria argued, and John rolled his eyes. Maria stared at Eliza, afraid and upset and worried.  
  
"Me either," Peggy said.  
  
"What, really? And everyone knew?"  
  
"We didn't want to hurt you," Hercules mumbled.  
  
Eliza scoffed. "Yeah, because fucking my boyfriend and then letting me look like an idiot because you all knew about it makes finding out a totally painless experience," she spit, crossing her arms. "Wait, Angelica? Did you?"  
  
"We were drunk. It was right after you first started dating. You just started to actually fall in love with him, I didn't want to ruin it."  
  
"So you let me go into a relationship _knowing_ he was going to cheat on me?"  
  
"Eliza-"  
  
"Please, don't."  
  
"Anyway!" Lafayette interjected, not wanting to watch anymore arguing. "Burr, where were you?"  
  
"Bathroom."  
  
"Right, so obviously none of you killed Alex."  
  
Hercules gasped. "Maybe we should search the house."  
  
"You're a genius."  
  
Maybe it was wrong, maybe Lafayette should be mourning Alex, sobbing over their story to the police that would do nothing to help them. They should be in shock, sitting in a rocking chair, too numb to even move let alone search through a house that wasn't theirs. Maybe they should be hunched over a toilet, revisiting all of the glasses of champagne they had through the night. Maybe they should be doing a lot of things instead of this, but they didn't care. They wanted to find out, they _had_ to find out.  
  
They checked the rooms in front of the balcony first, starting with Eliza's room. It was cute, pastel blue walls covered in pictures of her with Angelica and Peggy, pictures of her high school graduation, a bulletin board littered with polaroids of her and her friends. Hercules and Lafayette could see themselves in some, could remember when they were taken. Neither of them wanted to imagine that she did this, but they couldn't be sure.  
  
"I found a ring," Hercules told them, holding a gold band in between his fingers.  
  
"And I found a makeup wipe with some red lipstick on it," Lafayette responded.  
  
"I don't get it."  
  
"Neither do I."  
  
"Let's just bring it downstairs and see." Hercules pocketed the ring, taking the makeup wipe from Lafayette and pocketing that too.  
  
"I don't like this," Lafayette said as they stared at the middle hallway bathroom, white powder placed in a thin straight line on the vanity next to Angelica's credit card.  
  
"I don't get it, why would she leave her credit card in here? That seems kind of weird, doesn't it?"  
  
"Maybe she forgot about it? I don't know the effects of coke on the human body."  
  
Hercules furrowed his eyebrows. "Didn't you do it once in college?"  
  
"And you think I retained memories from that night?"  
  
"Right."  
  
"Okay so, Angelica is in the bathroom doing coke, Alex walks in because he's looking for Eliza, catches her, and Angelica kills him so he can't tell anyone. I mean, think about it, she's the daughter of a rich senator, if this got out it would ruin her father's name, and her future."  
  
"Could Angelica throw Alexander over a balcony, though?"  
  
"If she was scared enough, probably."  
  
"I think we should keep looking," Hercules said, and Lafayette nodded.  
  
The next bedroom they walked in was a guest room, dark green walls and nothing personal to connect it to any one Schuyler. It reeked of sex and sweat and cologne, invading their nostrils contrasting in an almost sickening way to the smell of death in the parlor. A mahogany colored watch lie on the bedside table, Burr's name engraved on the back casing. It was an old watch, older than Burr, it would be a shame for him to lose an antique.  
  
"Did you find anything?" Angelica questioned. She was pacing now, hands still shaking, skin still shining with sweat.  
  
"Yeah, actually," Lafayette responded. Hercules put everything on the coffee table. The ring, makeup wipe, credit card, and watch sat on the table like the clues to a scavenger hunt, now all they had to do was put together a puzzle.  
  
Angelica snatched her credit card out of the clues. "Where did you get this?"  
  
"We found it in the bathroom, next to what I assumed was cocaine."  
  
Eliza stood up. "What?"  
  
"I was as shocked as you were, believe me, but then it made sense. Alex caught you, didn't he?"  
  
"No, that's not what-"  
  
"He caught you and he tried to do something, so you panicked, threw him over the balcony and forgot to clean up the evidence."  
  
"I was in the bathroom that Angelica was, I didn't see anything," John commented. "I mean, I saw the credit card, but I-"  
  
"It was under the credit card, I'll admit that, but I didn't kill Alex. I wouldn't kill Alex, or anyone, for that matter." She stole Peggy's glass of water and drank it, stumbling back over to the couch and collapsing on it.  
  
"Laf, I don't think she did it," Hercules muttered, tugging on their sleeve. Lafayette turned, face to face with Hercules' furrowed eyebrows.  
  
"How couldn't she have done it?"  
  
Hercules shook his head. "I don't know, I just don't think she did it. Let's make sense of the other clues first, and then-"  
  
"This is stupid! None of us killed Alex, why are you keeping us here and forcing us to watching him fucking decompose, it's fucked up, Lafayette."  
  
Lafayette didn't agree or disagree, just stalked closer to John, eyes squinted. "John, what's on your neck?"  
  
John adjusted his collar. "Nothing."  
  
"Show me what's on your neck."  
  
John curled further into himself, but Lafayette moved faster than him, grabbing his wrist and pulling his collar down, revealing the dark purple bruise sucked into his skin. Teeth marks dug in gently around it, and Lafayette connects the dots in their head.  
  
"You were fucking Burr when Alex got killed," Lafayette said. It wasn't a question.  
  
The tips of John's ears turned red as everyone in the room turned to look at them. Burr scratched at his collar and slid his watch across the table and dropped it into his blazer pocket.  
  
"Listen-"  
  
"I didn't think you would ever sleep with someone other than Alex. I thought you were hooked on him for life," Hercules remarked. John scoffed.  
  
"I was, but then I realized that if I kept loving him, he would either kill me, or I'd be his fucking side piece for the rest of my miserable life. I decided to stop being pathetic."  
  
"You never broke up with Alex, though," Lafayette pointed out, "and why didn't you just tell us you were dating Burr?"  
  
Burr turned red, muttered into his clenched fist, "We're not necessarily the most practical match."  
  
"Plus, Alex hated Burr. He would've killed me if he found out," John added.  
  
"So you killed him first?"  
  
"No!" John shouted.  
  
Lafayette slammed their hands down on the coffee table as the yelled, "Gotcha!"  
  
"You really didn't!"  
  
Peggy raised her hand, "Is anyone else lost?" Eliza, Peggy, and Maria raised their hands, and Lafayette shot daggers at them.  
  
"Fine," the grimaced, "moving on. John and Burr were fucking, I would ask for more details but I don't want to _know_ any more details. They didn't kill Alex."  
  
"That only leaves Eliza or Maria," Hercules remarked, splayed across the chair Lafayette pulled over an hour ago. "Go over the evidence again."  
  
"All that's left is the ring and the makeup wipe, both of which were in Eliza's room," Lafayette told him. Eliza and Maria said nothing, just glanced at each other before looking back to Lafayette.  
  
Hercules sat up. "Where did Eliza get Alex's ring?"  
  
"Where did you get the ring?" Lafayette repeated, and Eliza leaned back on the couch.  
  
"It's my engagement ring, Alex proposed over our vacation."  
  
Lafayette quirked their eyebrow. "You weren't wearing it when you showed up."  
  
"We didn't announce it yet."  
  
"Alex told us he never proposed in the first place."  
  
"He lied to keep up the surprise," she explained. "God knows to lied to all of us enough."  
  
"So you killed him because you found out he was lying?"  
  
"I didn't kill him!" She screamed.  
  
"Then Maria did it!" They slammed their hands down on the table, and everybody was as silent as Alex, which gave Lafayette all the answers they needed.  
  
"Lafayette," Hercules said.  
  
"Did I just solve a murder?" Their hand covered their heart, appalled. "All of my evidence was circumstantial, it was more likely to fall through than anything else and it would never hold up in court, but, holy shit. I just solved a murder."  
  
"Does anyone else want to know why Maria killed Alex?" Angelica questioned. Maria swallowed, took one of Eliza's hands in hers.  
  
"I took of my lipstick so that it wouldn't show up on Eliza's lips when I kissed her. I've done it before, I've been doing it, but none of you ever noticed. We've been having an affair since Alexander was still courting her, when he got her all those flowers that your dad paid for that Eliza ended up being allergic to? I got her roses, and I begged her not to date Alex, but it wasn't her choice and it wasn't mine."  
  
Lafayette gasped, "You can't make me feel like this when you killed my best friend. You commit a crime and then proceed to tell me the cutest story I've ever heard in my fucking life? Are you kidding?"  
  
"Just adding backstory, to explain the situation," Maria explained. "Anyway, he caught us. Almost two years we've been doing this, and he caught us. When he finally managed to wipe the shocked look off his face, he started freaking the _fuck out_ . He shut the door and started screaming about how Eliza betrayed him and how he couldn't believe she'd do something like this, as if he hasn't fucked everyone from here to Houston."  
  
"What a dick," Peggy commented, and Maria nodded.  
  
"Always. Then he started talking about he didn't deserve it and how if Eliza broke up with me right that second, then he'd take her back and they could forget about it, then he didn't give Eliza a choice-"  
  
"I would've chosen you," Eliza mumbled, and Maria grinned at her.  
  
"Alex grabbed her hand and tried to pull her away from me, and Eliza couldn't get away so he was basically dragging her across the carpet. He opened the door and I panicked, I didn't want to lose Eliza, so I grabbed the back of his jacket and I threw him. I didn't expect him to crash into the chandelier like he did, I didn't know I had it in me to _throw_ him across the chandelier like I did. It wasn't on purpose, and if I could go back I would've just screamed and faced the consequences of all of you finding out, which I'm doing anyway now, but there's a body count."  
  
Hercules spoke up. "So, what we learned, kids, is Alex was an asshole-"  
  
"We already knew that," John said, and him and Burr waved.  
  
"An asshole," Hercules repeated, firmer, squinting at them, "and Maria is my new favorite person who must be protected at all times."  
  
"Thanks, Hercules."  
  
"So, if we're not going to call the cops, what are we going to do with Alex's body?" Peggy asked.  
  
The events that followed were not ones Lafayette was proud of, but they were necessary. It involved a baseball bat, matches, and a lot of patience as they held an impromptu bonfire with some abnormal kindling, and a hatchet.  
  
"What story are you gonna use to tell the Washingtons?" Hercules asked Maria and Eliza as he went through Alex's wallet, cutting up his credit cards and driver's license so that nobody could find them. He'd throw it into the fire still burning in the pool house when they were done, but now they had to focus on digging a grave for what was left of Alex in a space just under Angelica's petunia garden. They were just planted days ago, the grass didn't have the chance to grow.  
  
"Alex proposed at the party," Maria explained. "Eliza said no, and he stormed off, didn't tell her where he was going. In two days, we report him missing, and they start looking. They don't find him. In about a year, Eliza and I say that we fell in love and started dating."  
  
"Hey, Eliza," Peggy whispered. "Can you believe you used to date this guy?" She shook the metal box that Alex's bone fragments were in, rattling in her gloved hands. Everyone stared at her. "Too soon? Too soon, okay."  
  
Peggy set the box down on the ground and helped them dig, until they were all looking down at a six foot hole small enough that it wouldn't raise any suspicion. Angelica dropped the box in softly and they spent the next half hour filling in the hole before throwing the plastic gloves they all wore in the fire along with Alex's cards and his wallet, then burning the ashes once it was all done.  
  
"Review of tonight's events," John said. "Alex and Eliza came back from the Bahamas, Alex got drunk, I got fucked, Angelica does coke, Maria and Eliza have been having an affair for two years, and Maria killed Alex. Nobody is actually that upset, though we are all thoroughly fucked up, and I think we should all get help, using Alex's disappearance as an excuse."  
  
Lafayette stared down into the fire. "Is this who we are now? Accessories to murder, and okay with that?"    
  
"Eh, the bastard had it coming," Burr shrugged, lit another match and threw it into the fire for good measure.  
  
They cleaned up the blood and lugged the chandelier down to the basement, planning to dispose of it later. Angelica already has a plan in place, a lie to tell their father and a relationship with a man willing to falsify ordering records at an antique store.  
  
Eliza collapsed on the couch after putting back all of the rubber gloves. "What do we do now?"  
  
"Now," Maria answered, grabbing a bottle of wine from the rack built into the end table. "We drink."

**Author's Note:**

> this!! probably has plot holes and probably does not work at some parts of it!! let me know and I'll try my best to fix them though!!


End file.
